4 Areas Where Justifying Your Actions Is a Complete Waste of Time

Aug 14, 2016

tick tock, tick tock.


As if figuring out our ultimate life’s purpose wasn’t difficult enough, we have somebody breathing down our neck judging every move we make.

It’s enough to quit, kill, or go crazy.

And we see a lot this, don’t we?

When aligned with what we want, we know what we have to do, but we don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings, and we don’t want to hear others complaining about it.

Why don’t they understand?

We don’t know why they don’t understand, but we think if we explain it to them they’ll eventually “get it”.

Only…they don’t.

So we end up quitting, killing, or going crazy.

We quit our work, we kill the dream, and it makes us feel crazy.

It is the worst kind of defeat.

So what can we do?


Space and Confidence

If you want to:

  • Save time,
  • Save energy,
  • Save emotions,
  • Garner respect, and
  • Send the best messages out into the universe…

You must stop justifying your actions to others.

There are many areas where we justify our ideas and actions in our lives. Sometimes it’s at work. Sometimes it’s at home. Wherever it is, it always feels the same- not good.

Here are 4 areas of life where most people feel that they need to justify themselves to others. When you are able to stand independent of what others think of you, you will have immediate access to space and confidence- the two most important factors for making real progress towards your goals.


The 4 Areas

Again, these are common areas where we feel like we must justify ourselves, but you are encouraged to expand this list to shine light on your unique relationships and situation.


  1. Saying “no”

Saying “no” can feel like poison.

When somebody asks something of us, and we know it is in our best interest to say “no”, we always want to follow it up with the “why”. At first glance, this may seem like a common courtesy, but unless you are asked specifically why you did not say “yes”, then you are wasting your time.

And why the need to justify here?

Many of us will come up with different answers, but ultimately we don’t want to ruin future possibilities, as if this “no” will cancel out future opportunities. However, this could not be further from the truth.

In fact, when you say “no” to someone, you are saying “yes” to yourself. The “yes” that you are giving yourself, opens up the possibility for you to be free to be yourself. This is the place where true expression and creativity arise.

Ask yourself what’s more important, going to some dinner function you absolutely have no interest in, or building the relationship with your expression and creativity? No brainer, right?


  1. Acting selfishly

It almost leaves a bad taste in your mouth, doesn’t it?

“Acting selfishly” has gotten a bad rap. What is so wrong about serving your personal wants and needs? In fact, how could anyone expect to serve somebody else without serving themselves first?

If you tried, your actions would be lacking in conviction, lacking in power. How much value can you actually create for your loved ones this way?

And why would anybody possibly be upset with the idea of you serving yourself before them? It’s because they have not been giving themselves permission to serve themselves first. They want you to suffer as they have.

This almost always happens at the subconscious level and should not be taken personally. However, what’s the best thing to do in these situations? Play ball? Or start a new game?


  1. Not engaging in meaningless conversation

Most people talk about what is safe, which is terribly boring.

If they just so happen to skip over the safest topics of conversation, they move on to talking about themselves, which is based in the ego and is also terribly boring.

You don’t have to be the punching bag for somebody else in these situations. It’s an incredible strain on the heart and mind. It’s easy for you to think of 1000 things you’d rather be doing.

So what can you do? Do one of these 1000 things. Dismiss yourself from the conversation with some polite excuse and turn your attention to something that will serve your best interests.


  1. Moving on

Talking to, or witnessing, somebody who chooses to “move on” is like meeting a Martian.

Most people stay where they are and don’t move for fear of success, failure, or how others will perceive them. When you share your idea/story of “moving on” often it will excite their deepest, darkest fears.

Their fear will want to protect their mode of living and demand that you justify your position. Is it so that they can learn and adopt your successful habits? Nine out of ten times the answer is “no”. What they are really looking for are little pockets for confrontation. Their ego wants to battle and defend.

How can you skip over all of this, don’t justify your life to them.


Your Next Step

Identify the one area in your life where you feel like you have to justify your behavior to someone. When you do, cut the amount of these kinds of conversations in half. Silence is your best weapon during these episodes.


Food for Thought

When ideas of “needing” to justify to others pop into your head, stop and ask yourself “Who am I really trying to convince?” If you think you might have an answer to this question, please share by leaving a comment below.


  1. Who am I really trying to convince? Usually me.

    • AllTooSimple says:

      Peter, thank you for your comment. It’s a lot of work convincing ourselves, isn’t it?

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