4 Types of Relationships That Will Destroy Your Happiness

Jul 31, 2016
happiness

Don’t let it happen to you.

 

We are our relationships.

Our connection to ourselves and to others shape the reality of this existence.

But we’re not always satisfied with these relationships, are we?

When we work on the relationship with ourselves, we have complete control. We choose what direction to move forward in and we start taking the necessary steps to get there. The only challenges we face are motivation, skills, and determination.

But what about when you add another person to the mix?

Two different minds. Two different hearts. Two different lives.

We want to find a place of balance and peace here so that we may enjoy life lived with others, but it’s easier said than done.

Often we come to a point where the relationships that we hold begin to turn all dimensions of our lives from sweet to sour. These unhealthy relationships are the rain cloud following you wherever you go.

We all know what this feels like, but not all of us know what to do in these situations.

Is it me? Is it him? Is it her? What can I do to improve this relationship? How can I develop new relationships without repeating the same mistakes over and over?

 

Dangerous Relationships

If you want to save your current relationships or move forward and create new ones, you must be aware of common relationship pitfalls.

They’re so easy to fall in and almost everyone, at some time or another, has been invested in one of these.

As you review the following list, see which of these apply to you and move forward in your relationships with awareness.

 

  1. Dependency

Dependency in a relationship can pop up almost anywhere.

You may be dependent on the other party for: happiness, safety, confidence, money, fun, opportunities, the list goes on.

When you are in a state of dependency, you are constricted with expectations. When they don’t ________, you feel upset. This puts an unfair amount of pressure on the other party to perform.

Maybe they’re aware of these expectations, maybe not. Either way, it’s a house of cards and the slightest jolt will send it tumbling.

 

  1. Domination

Who’s chasing who in your relationship?

Are you catering to the other person’s wants and needs more than they are for you? If so, why do you think this is the current arrangement?

Either holding or giving away all the power in a relationship always leads to demise.

Consider the fashion in which we humans have built and governed our societies throughout history. The ones that held too much power ultimately ended in ruin. It is not in our human nature to hold so much power. We must share and delegate responsibilities.

 

  1. Manipulation

We are all incredibly talented in manipulation, frightfully so.

When manipulation is performed by you, it may be at the conscious or subconscious level. Often, you will find that there is both in your day-to-day.

Some of these are obvious. Others, not so much.

Chances are, you are manipulating someone and you’re not even aware that you’re doing it. Also, you are probably being manipulated by someone and not aware that they’re doing it.

Again, we’re so talented in manipulation that the subtleness in which these messages are communicated and received go undetected day-in and day-out.

And whether or not this painful game is being played at the conscious level, nobody likes it- that we do know.

 

  1. Deception

Relationships must be built on trust.

You must trust them, and they must trust you.

Only…who’s the “you” they are trusting?

The “you” they choose to trust is the “you” you show them. If you show them some false version of yourself and tell them to “trust me”, they will. Where do you think this is headed?

Down the road, slowly but surely, you begin to fall into your actual self and express and behave from here. However, the other party is confused by this slightly different interaction. You showed them one thing, then gave them another.

Both you and the other person recognize that there was some kind of deception here and it floods the house you’ve built.

Being honest with yourself is the only safeguard against this travesty.

 

Your Next Step

Identify the least rewarding relationship in your life and put it up against this new information. Find in what area this relationship is suffering most and why.

Your awareness alone will help to heal its current state. However, you are also encouraged to decide your next critical step in this relationship. Is it a conversation? Is it moving on?

 

Food for Thought

What are the 4 types of relationships that will build happiness?

 

If you are in a stage of development where you could use support from an expert in acquiring, developing, and enjoying healthy relationships, consider what a relationship Coach can do for you. Serious applicants only.

Comments

  1. I am never able to rise above a medium level and its giving me lot of stress. How much ever i try i am not improving. I am just an average person.

    • AllTooSimple says:

      Sindu, schedule a Coaching Strategy Session withe me (free of charge) and we’ll discuss in detail.

  2. Hi Rishan! We could have a good dialogue about this. Like you I have studied this through time. Each and every relationship is unique just like persons. I’m certain that a good relationship brings energy and knowledge to both parties (love). but as humans we sometimes have a hard time to understand this. What can seem very negative can in reality be very positive. To be unlike in thinking sometimes lead to more unity and greater awareness than people who think alike. However people don’t wish to think or see this way. Sure many arguments and domestic quarrels but the real energy and love will survive this and eventually the couple will grow together. Everything in life isn’t always the “easy way”. You know we’re here to learn. The same goes for many things. However each human have their on goal depending on how they think. Best of luck to you! Ralph Rodehag

    • AllTooSimple says:

      Ralph, thank you for your very excellent feedback. It sounds like you have quite the mind for Relationships! Well said and thank you for the input 😀

  3. This is such a great post. I have been in the breakup stage of a relationship for three months, but really wish it was not so.

    • AllTooSimple says:

      Thank you for your compliment :D. Yes, it can be a difficult process. The good news is that now you will have created space to invite a new and rewarding relationship into your life. Perhaps one that is even more in alignment with your personal journey. Keep us posted, won’t you?

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